Conversation No Seller Wants to Have

The Conversation No Home Seller Wants to Have

By Kelly DeBrosse | eXp Realty | 23+ years serving Raleigh, Wake & surrounding counties

A few weeks ago, I met with homeowners whose property had just come off the market after spending ninety days listed with another real estate company. It was a story I had heard many times throughout my career. The home had been on the market, there had been showings, one verbal low offer. Like so many appointments I've had over the last twenty-three years, I knew there was more to the story than simply, "It didn't sell." There's always some sort of twist.

When I arrived, the home was vacant, so we stood around the kitchen counter and started talking about the house. Before I ever discuss marketing or pricing, I like to understand the home through the eyes of the people who have been living there. Homeowners always know things I can't learn from the MLS or a tax record, and those conversations often tell me just as much as the data does. I need the full picture to understand the entire situation before I can offer meaningful advice.

As they walked me through everything they had done since purchasing the home, I found myself becoming more impressed by the minute. The home wasn't even two years old, and it was in better condition than many brand-new homes I've walked through. They had installed a French drain around the backyard along with 6-foot fencing so they would never have to worry about standing water after a heavy rain. They had upgraded the lighting throughout the home, added custom storage in the garage, replaced the builder-installed appliances with high-end models, and spent considerable time improving the lawn until it looked exactly the way they wanted it. Every improvement had been made because they planned on staying there for years, not because they were trying to prepare it for sale.

As I walked through the home, there wasn't a list of repairs running through my mind. I wasn't noticing deferred maintenance or projects that would need to be completed before putting the home back on the market. Quite the opposite, the house was pristine. It was beautifully maintained, completely move-in ready, and showed as well as any resale home could.

I was eager to hear from the owners why they were selling and why they felt their home hadn't sold. They had listed the home for essentially what they had paid for it less than two years earlier. Buyers had come through the property. They had received positive feedback. Yet after ninety days on the market, they were no closer to getting this financial burden off their shoulders.

Then I shifted the conversation away from the house itself. The property is never the full story. I also need to understand what's happening in the homeowners' lives because that often explains why they're making the decisions they're making. I needed clarity on the bigger picture.

I asked where they had moved, how long they had been there, and what had prompted the move. Their answer surprised me. They hadn't relocated across Raleigh. They hadn't moved because of a job transfer or a growing family that needed to be in another school district. In fact, they hadn't even left the neighborhood.

They smiled as they explained that they were actually the very first homeowners to close in the community. They loved the neighborhood so much that when they decided they wanted a little more space, they purchased a larger home just a few streets away. They simply moved from one house in the neighborhood to another. I wasn't expecting that answer!

Most expired listings come with fairly familiar circumstances: a relocation, a divorce, a growing family, a retirement, or a financial change. This wasn't any of those. These homeowners genuinely loved where they lived. They weren't trying to leave the neighborhood at all. They simply wanted a larger home, and they were fortunate enough to be able to buy one.

As we continued talking, another important piece of the story came out. They shared that they had not been represented by a buyer's agent when they purchased either home. That isn't a criticism of anyone involved. Every buyer chooses the path that makes the most sense for them, and I wasn't there to know what conversations took place. What it did tell me, however, was that there was a very good chance one important conversation had never happened.

Whenever I'm working with buyers considering new construction, one of the things we spend time discussing has nothing to do with floor plans, granite countertops, or paint colors. We talk about resale.

Most buyers aren't thinking about selling when they're standing in a model home. They're excited about builder incentives, choosing finishes, and imagining their future in a brand-new house. That's exactly how it should be. Buying a home is exciting. At the same time, part of my responsibility is helping buyers think beyond the day they close. Life changes. Jobs change. Families grow. Opportunities come along that nobody can predict.

What happens if you need to sell in two years? That's a very different conversation than what happens if you own the home for fifteen. As I stood there listening to their story, I had a feeling we were about to have one of the more difficult conversations I've had in quite some time because I knew something the owners did not know—something that may have changed their decision to purchase the second home had they known it ahead of time.

As we finished talking about the home, I paused before moving into the pricing discussion. Instead of pulling out comparable sales right away, I wanted to understand one more piece of the puzzle. I asked them how things were going since they had moved. That's when I learned they were carrying two mortgages, two HOA dues, two homeowners insurance policies, and all of the expenses that come with maintaining two homes.

Before we had even looked at a single number, I knew time had become just as important as price. Every month this home sat vacant was costing them thousands of dollars.

I explained that before we talked about marketing, professional photography, advertising, or anything our company offers, I wanted to make sure we were all looking at the same market. The best marketing in the world cannot overcome a pricing problem, and I would have been doing them a disservice if I skipped over the hard part just to talk about everything we do well. Marketing, exposure, and presentation all matter. But they have to begin with a realistic understanding of what buyers are comparing your home against.

We started by looking at where they had purchased the home compared to the other sales in the neighborhood at that time. Their purchase price was one of the higher closed sales in the community. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. Someone will always purchase at the higher end of a neighborhood. The challenge comes when circumstances change quickly and that homeowner needs to sell while the builder is still actively constructing and selling homes in the same subdivision.

This is a conversation I have with buyers whenever we're considering new construction because it is one of the few things they usually haven't thought about. In my experience, resale homes competing against a builder who is still selling new inventory often face an uphill battle. It doesn't mean the resale home isn't beautiful. It doesn't mean it hasn't been cared for. It simply means buyers are comparing it to something that comes with incentives an individual homeowner can't offer.

We spent quite a bit of time looking at those incentives together. Interest rate buy-downs, closing cost assistance, builder warranties, and other promotions all become part of the buyer's decision. Then we expanded our search beyond their neighborhood and looked at everything competing within roughly a three-mile radius. That's how buyers shop today. They don't limit themselves to one subdivision. They compare neighborhoods, builders, floor plans, monthly payments, and overall value until they find the home that makes the most financial sense.

By the time we finished reviewing the data, the seller quietly looked at me and said he finally understood what they had really been competing against. He also shared that he didn't feel the previous company had fully explained the realities of their situation before putting the home on the market. I wasn't part of those conversations, so I can't say what was or wasn't discussed, nor would I want to. Every real estate professional has a different approach. What I do know is that my responsibility is to make sure my clients understand exactly what they're up against before we ever decide on a pricing strategy.

Now it was time to begin talking numbers.

There is nothing enjoyable about telling good people something you know they don't want to hear. I had spent the last hour listening to how much they loved this home, seeing the care they had put into every improvement, and understanding why they were frustrated. They had done everything they believed they were supposed to do. The home was beautiful. It was meticulously maintained. They hadn't neglected it. Unfortunately, the market wasn't evaluating their home based on the effort they had put into it.

I prepared a seller net sheet using what I believed was a realistic sales price in the current market.

The room became very quiet.

After everything we had looked at together, I estimated they would need to bring approximately $13,000 to the closing table. They did not want to bring money to the table on a home they had poured money into and were now being told they couldn't recover that investment.

It wasn't just the thought of bringing money to closing that made the conversation so difficult. They were already carrying two mortgages, two HOA dues, two homeowners insurance policies, and all of the monthly expenses that come with owning two homes. They estimated that burden was costing them close to $3,000 every month.

Naturally, the next question was whether renting made more sense. We ran those numbers too. After looking at realistic rental income, it became clear they would still be operating at a monthly loss. Renting might buy them time, but it wasn't likely to solve the financial problem they were trying to escape. It simply changed what the loss looked like.

If this were my decision, I told them I believed selling now was the better financial choice, even though it was the harder one emotionally. I also wanted them to know they weren't trapped into making a decision that day.

I explained that if we priced the home where I believed the market would respond, we would know fairly quickly whether we had positioned it correctly. The first few weeks on the market tell us almost everything we need to know. Buyers either schedule appointments, write offers, or they don't. If we found that the market wasn't responding the way I expected, I told them I would happily release them from the listing agreement so they could pursue another option, including renting the home if they ultimately decided that was the better path.

That seemed to surprise them. I wasn't offering to release them because I lacked confidence. I was offering because I never want a client to feel trapped in a business relationship. If they were going to trust me with one of the largest financial decisions of their lives, I wanted them to know that trust went both ways.

We finished our meeting. It was Tuesday afternoon. They sat quietly for a few minutes, looking over everything we had discussed. Then one of them looked up and asked,

"How quickly can we go live?"

I smiled because I knew exactly what that question meant. They had accepted the reality of the market they were competing in. They didn't like it, but they understood it. More importantly, they understood why. We weren't guessing anymore, and we weren't hoping the market would somehow be different next week than it was that day. We had looked at the data together, talked through every reasonable option, and made a decision based on facts instead of emotion.

From there, everything moved quickly. I coordinated professional staging, photography, measurements, floor plans, marketing materials, and all of the preparation that goes into launching a listing the right way.

By Friday afternoon, the home was live.

The first five days were stressful. There were no showings. Then, later on Day 5, we had our first showing. It was an impromptu appointment by an agent who happened to be in the neighborhood with buyers looking at the new homes for sale. She called me directly, and I was able to get them into the home without delay.

That showing produced an offer. The offer came in very close to the pricing estimate we had reviewed together just a few days earlier.

I wish I could tell you they were excited. They weren't. How could they be?

No homeowner wants to bring thousands of dollars to the closing table, especially after caring for a home the way they had. They had done everything they believed was right. The market from 2020 through 2024 may have been strong enough for them to have achieved the outcome they were hoping for. Unfortunately, this wasn't that market.

This is a part of real estate people don't like to talk about because there isn't always a magical solution. Sometimes there is only the best available decision.

In their case, selling the home meant bringing money to closing. It also meant ending the monthly financial drain that had been hanging over them ever since they purchased their new home. No more carrying two mortgages. No more paying two HOA dues. No more maintaining two homes while wondering if next month would finally be the month a buyer came along.

I truly wish someone had sat down with them before they purchased this home and explained what competing against a builder could look like if they ever needed to sell before the neighborhood was complete. It may not have changed their decision because none of us can predict the future, but at least they would have understood the risk going into it.

Understanding the market you're selling in instead of the market you wish you were selling in is one of the most important parts of pricing a home. Professional photography, marketing, advertising, and social media all matter, and I'm proud of what our company provides. But before any of that can work, someone has to be willing to have the difficult conversation. If we don't get the pricing strategy right from the beginning, no amount of marketing will change what buyers see when they start comparing homes.

Today's buyers are informed. They have access to neighborhood sales, builder incentives, mortgage calculators, and every competing home on the market with just a few clicks. They're making careful financial decisions, and our job as listing agents is to help sellers understand exactly what those buyers are seeing before the home ever goes on the market.

Giving difficult information is always harder in the moment than false optimism. It's much easier to promise someone a higher sales price than it is to explain why the market probably won't support it. The problem is that the market eventually tells the truth anyway. I'd much rather have that conversation in the beginning than ninety days later, after my clients have carried another three months of mortgages, insurance, HOA dues, and disappointment while missing the strongest part of the market at the wrong price point.

Those conversations aren't easy for me, and they're certainly not easy for the homeowners sitting across from me. They're also some of the most important conversations I'll ever have.

When I think back on that appointment, I don't remember the numbers on the net sheet nearly as much as I remember the trust those homeowners placed in me after hearing news no one wants to hear. They trusted the data, they trusted my experience, and even though it wasn't the outcome they had hoped for, they made the decision that ultimately allowed them to move forward instead of continuing to watch the situation become more expensive every month.

Success in real estate isn't only measured by how much money someone makes. Sometimes it's also measured by helping good people stop losing money so they can move on with their lives.

Those aren't the stories you'll usually see in real estate advertising. They're simply the moments that remind me why I've loved this career for more than twenty-three years. And if sharing experiences like this helps even one buyer or seller ask a better question before making one of the biggest financial decisions of their life, then it's a story worth telling.